Everyone would agree that the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease can be devastating for the person receiving the news, as well as the family members and loved ones surrounding them. A study reported in the New York Times this spring underscored that long before diagnosis of dementia, people who will later be diagnosed show declines in financial decision-making, such as impulse buys of large ticket items, forgetting to pay bills, and being prone to financial scams. Not surprisingly, their credit ratings suffer precipitous decreases.
My husband, Walt, sensed that something was wrong with his thinking years before anyone else noticed it. He was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease (one of a number of brain conditions that cause dementia), and he lost the ability to organize his thoughts, reason, function independently, and – eventually – even communicate meaningfully.
In many ways, we were lucky. Walt was an economist, so it’s no surprise he believed in professional help when it came to finances. We’d had financial advisors before, but after Walt’s Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis in 2014, we knew we wanted a financial planner who developed a personal knowledge of us and an interest in us as human beings, and someone who made financial decisions on our behalf consistent with our values. A fiduciary relationship with BCR Wealth Strategies provided the kind of personalized help we needed.
Dementia is usually gradual – over years – and begins with subtle changes in a loved one’s behavior, like forgetting appointments, misplacing items, and perhaps, missing a bill payment or two. The signs of dementia gradually worsen in stages, and as the disorder continues, there will be more obvious signs. Loved ones start to notice more problematic behaviors like reductions in driving skills, getting lost going to previously familiar places, problems in reasoning and logic, serious memory lapses, reduced communication skills, social withdrawal, and poor judgment. It’s important to know that dementia occurs in stages because in the early stages, our loved ones are still capable of making sound decisions. This is the critical time for legal and financial planning.
When we first visited our new financial planners, Walt confided that he didn’t need help yet, but he was going to need help, and he explained why. He had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease (a common cause of dementia) through a spinal tap analyzing specific protein cells in the spinal fluid, but he didn’t yet have the collection of memory and judgment problems we define as dementia. So, we were facing a future of dementia, but we weren’t there yet. I thought it was a very gutsy thing for Walt to share to perfect strangers that he was facing a future of dementia, even as highly recommended as they came. Most of us don’t want to admit it, don’t want to see it in our loved ones, and we therefore wait longer than we should to do the planning we need to do while we can.
In going for financial help, my husband was advance planning in as generous a way toward me as he could, knowing I had no interest or expertise in investment or financial planning. At that time, I did not appreciate that I would eventually have total responsibility over the finances, and having this relationship established and the expertise supporting me eased my way considerably. In this regard, I was very lucky that Walt wasn’t in denial, and to my credit, he was lucky I didn’t have my head buried in the sand either.
Walt and I had the good fortune to have financial security: We were both well-educated, had long and prosperous careers, and had good retirement systems in place. I recognize that we were very privileged going into the dementia marathon, unlike many other millions of people and their loved ones who face the disorder with few resources and little support. Nevertheless, coping with a multi-year terminal illness for which there is no government assistance with care saps every budget, not to mention depleting quality of life. We were depending on our financial planners to make decisions about whether we needed to change our investment strategies based on an unexpected future of shifting financial needs, and I was certainly not able to make those decisions on my own while facing the increasing physical and emotional demands of being a full-time caregiver. I learned that a fiduciary financial planner keeps tabs on a client’s changing life circumstances and makes informed decisions to maximize financial security. This kind of financial planner does not engage in an impersonal, one-size fits all strategy.
Walt died of dementia-related causes in 2020. Since that time, I have relied on BCR to help me with disbursement of IRA shares to named beneficiaries, analysis of any changing financial needs I might have as I recover from loss and grief, considerations for amending wills, powers of attorney (healthcare POA and financial POA), and other ongoing financial advice – broadly defined. Here are a few specific examples of support and advice I have received since 2020 – some that you would not necessarily expect of an ordinary financial planner: At one point, BCR contacted me about a sizable transfer of funds that had been requested, supposedly by me; the request did not come from me and was quickly tracked to a transposed account number error made by the requesting financial institution. Happily, it was not identity theft, a scam, or a red flag that I was beginning to make questionable financial decisions – perhaps a harbinger of my own impending dementia. A year ago, I was given advice about the possibility of purchasing a small property in Birmingham as a second residence; this could have been another sign of losing my own financial judgment, and it was reassuring to have a trusted source to help me consider my options. More recently still, I’ve been able to refer desperate friends to BCR who needed estate attorneys for their parents -both of whom were rather suddenly placed in hospice; BCR, with no anticipation of their own financial gain, made that happen – and quickly. Perhaps most unlikely of all, when I was looking for an agent to shop my recent book, BCR was kind enough to network me with another of their clients who had successfully negotiated those waters.
I am grateful that I have a multi-year relationship built with my fiduciary financial planner. If the time comes that I develop dementia, we have plans in place to safeguard my financial well-being to provide care for me until my death. And I can relax knowing that at my death, BCR will help with financial disbursement to my loved ones based on my values, expressed wishes, and legal documents.
Dr. Beverly Thorn is a licensed psychologist and author and spent 7 years caring for her husband with dementia before his death in 2020. She has since written a personal memoir and informational resource for others who may be facing dementia or dementia careiving, entitled Before I Lose my Own Mind: Navigating Life as a Dementia Caregiver, to be published by Girl Friday Productions in early 2025. For more information on Beverly and her book, go to her website, https://drbeverlythorn.com
